Thursday

Snow is nice but it creates some disgusting conditions for shopping. I didn't leave until the snow had stopped falling here and even after that the roads were still kind of bad. On my way to Williamsburg I slid in the lane when a tractor trailor was a little too close to the yellow line and I had to get over to the side of the road that hadn't really been plowed. On my way back I hit a bit of a drift in the middle of the road and my car started sliding diagonally for a few feet. It was pretty scary and I decided that I'm not going to go out again tonight, even though I had planned on it.

Last night I also had to cut open Laptop's power cord and splice some wires together. It's working again now but I feel like it's a bit of a fire hazard. A replacement cord should get here sometime next week.

I'm Christmas shopping online now. I'm not risking my life to go out again.

Engaged in more than one Thing

I finished this semester at 5:20 this evening as I slid my folder underneath my advisor's office door. The folder contained my 20 page Field Project (it could have been much, much longer, but we had a 20 page limit) and my student work samples. It was hard trying to keep all of my student work samples a secret. I can never let anybody know the names of the students I researched. Ever.

Anyway, I went back to my car and put my iPod on some good J-pop and drove to my friends' place where I was immediately told that Hunter had also finished his seminar paper at about the same time as me and that we were going somewhere to celebrate the evening.

And that we did.

Durty Nelly's isn't the kind of place that young people would typically like to go. It's a pub, meaning that it's not really a bar, because bars have loud music playing. And it's definitely not a club. It's just a place where friends can enjoy a few drinks together and actually hear each other talk. Whenever you see clubs or bars on TV and can hear people talking, it's not right. You can't hear anything in those places besides the thumping of the music and screaming of the slutty bitches that are trying to score some dick.

So we stayed there for a while, talking and drinking..catching up, laughing at each other, discussing our futures. It scares me that after just a few months I'll be out of college. Hunter is finishing this semester. I can't imagine that. I can't imagine that I've learned enough to fully operate in the real world. And I wonder how some people do it straight out of high school.

I don't think I'll ever really be ready. But I guess we learn by experience.

And two of my friends got engaged today. It's strange to think that we're old enough for marriage. But I guess my brother was engaged right after he turned 21 and my parents were married shortly after their 21st birthdays. I'm just going to be a lot later..because...of...other circumstances. Fuck you Cuccinelli.

And this is unit 740-B...

I can't say I've perfected the making of instant coffee. Even after a year and a half of drinking it again it's always a random mixture of things that goes into my cup. The other day I thought I got it right. But now it's bitter. Maybe my tastes just change with each day.

I have to clean my apartment again tonight. It's being shown twice tomorrow: 10 a.m. and 2 p.m. I'm not really looking forward to it as I planned on just laying around in my underwear and watching the Food Network all day long. And I'm having company tonight..company that's planning on staying with me tonight. The showing at 10 is really going to mess things up. I blame Ronnie.

It's exam time right now and even though I'm essentially done my friends aren't which really hampers my random visits to their house. I can't really show up and just be like "Hey! Pay attention to me! Let's do something!" anymore. And it sucks. I liked being able to do that for the length of the semester. It was always a nice little break for me to go over to their place and visit them and rant about school. And I'm so glad they helped me make the video. Especially Hunter....he went through a lot for it. But now, blah, they need their "time to study."

There was a lockdown at AHS and I'm kind of upset that I missed it. I say kind of because it was during the class with one of my favorite students and lockdowns are always mediocrely exciting. But, I feel like my CI would have been like "This is SERIOUS, ok. Are y'all writing this down? Is this important?" Then he would nod his head indicating that the class should write "Lockdown = Serious" on their papers and then go back to not paying attention to anything that's going on. I called him Mr. Lecture in my field project paper, by the way. My professor put a smiley face comment after the first mention of his alter-ego.

He probably wouldn't have let us talk either.

Lame.

Long because it should Be

Here I am..months after my last post listening to my 4654 songs on iTunes roll through a pretty decent shuffle. Yeah, a lot has happened in that time, not like there wasn't anything to write about. I mean, I was student teaching so there was always a constant flow of things I could put up on here, but I just never took the time to actually sit down and type them up.

So I guess what I could do is offer some brief recaps of certain things..It's really the least I could do.

Student teaching was fine. I met so many great people and exposed my unprofessional side a few more times than was allowed, which, while making me actually seem "cool" to some of my students, pushed me towards trouble more than once. Saying "fuck" in class does not add to my future credibility in the profession..although I don't actually plan on doing it anymore. I'd much rather work in a place where my co-workers aren't a bunch of paper-pushing pussies. I ended my term at AHS with a rather strong dislike for my CI and the administration. He wouldn't let me do anything but lecture, no matter what kinds of things I told him I wanted to do. The only time I had any bit of freedom was when I was being observed by Curry. I hope my parting gift to my CI kind of makes up for the animosity that was coming from both sides towards the end of the semester.

I also collapsed Laptop in late October and he's just not what he used to be now. The CD drive doesn't work, sleep function does not work, applications don't fully install sometimes, the power cord doesn't do it's job that well anymore....It's about time to say goodbye to my old friend and get a new computer.

I'm going to fight my upstairs neighbors soon. I hate those bitches.

I only have one more assignment for this semester- a revision of my 20 page field project paper. I wrote the whole draft in one sitting on Sunday night and now have until Monday at noon to get it in finalized. I still have a stack of 9 books on my desk with titles like "Instruction: a Models Approach," "Middle and Secondary Classroom Management," and "An Introduction to Student-Involved Assessment for Learning." They suck. Last night I gave my presentation on my paper and turned in my very brief job portfolio. I'm very close to being done. It's funny because all of my friends are in the midst of crunch time with papers and exams right now and I have a few days off to lay around.

Speaking of that all I really did today was get up at 11:30 (last night was a drinky night) and meet a friend for lunch. We talked about student teaching and how much she hated Mexico when she had to go down there for a few weeks over the summer. I came home from that and laid on my bed and played the new Golden Sun for 3 hours. I'm just starting to really move around now.

My roommate's watching The Proposal and it's making me realize how much I like Ryan Reynolds...

I've been thinking a lot about how Christmas is going to be different this year for me. It's my first Christmas since fully dropping my faith and moving on to my own beliefs. Even when my family made me help put up the manger scene in the side field I kept thinking about how I really didn't want to have it up or how fake I thought the whole thing is. I guess once the day actually gets here I'll suck it up and go to church because my family will want me to, but it's definitely not on my top list of priorities.

AND right before Christmas we're getting back from London. I'm very excited about going. It'll be my first time back in Europe since 2007. And it'll give my sister and me some time to hang out because we get along well when her boyfriend's not around...and he's not going with us. I still can't believe she'll be 18 in two months and graduating in June.

Right after Laptop died and was resurrected as Frankentop I pulled up a whole bunch of smut to read. I think I'm going to get on that tonight. It's terrible that it's things like that that get me excited. "Mmm...I'm going to read some smut tonight. Great night ahead!"

I have the best friends, by the way.

So now all I'm really doing is trying to string together coherent thoughts about this post and think about what I'm going to be making for dinner. There is always something more that I could put on here, depending on how much I want to say, how much I feel like typing, and what kind of mood I'm in. Right now I'm in a good mood.

100th Post!

I thought that my 100th blog post would end up being spectacular, but there's nothing spectacular that's been going on and, therefore, nothing spectacular to discuss here.

I did happen to accidentally stab myself with a very sharp knife this afternoon while unloading the dishwasher. It went into my the side of my right forearm a little under my wrist. It hurt, but it didn't bleed as much as I thought it would. The thing I don't like about it is how wide it is. But since it was a puncture wound and not a slice it's not too terribly bad. I can see the blood through the band-aid though.

I'm supposed to be either cleaning my apartment or grading AP work. I'm doing neither because I just don't feel like it. Ronnie signed us up to be inspected tomorrow to see if we could pass for a model unit to showcase to prospective clients without the consent of either Rafel or myself. And seeing as how I'm the one that does a good deal of the cleaning around here, I'm the one who ends up with the shittacular and somewhat self-imposed burden of cleaning. I think I'm just going to organize the bookshelf/TV stand in the living room and clean up my room and call it quits. If Ronnie wants the extra $100 off our rent each month then he can pitch in to do the rest. I'm tired of mopping the living room floor.

As for the AP work.....I really just don't feel like doing it.

So for the time being I'm just sitting around in my apartment waiting for 8 p.m. when a show about the Dark Ages comes on History International. The original History Channel no longer airs historical programming. I guess Americans would rather see a show about Ice Road Truckers or Pawn Stars than what the channel is actually supposed to be about.

I really don't like the original History Channel.

Stupid Decision

I can't believe I am still awake. This is going to be terrible tomorrow when I have to get up (in 2 and a half hours) and go into school all day long. After school I have to come home and write up some lesson plans. If I can make it through this week of transitioning into really teaching the Advanced classes then I should be alright for a little while.

It's just the anticipation, fear, and loathing of having to do it. This isn't what I want to do anymore and it's really showing with my inability to actually get anything done besides grading, which I have grown to like.

If I could sit in the class and grade all day long, run copies, staple, and do things like that all the time then I'd be fine with this semester. But I don't want to teach anymore. At all.

But I have to suck it up and do it until early December.

Book Burning

If I hear word of a single Quran being burned tomorrow I will be hosting a burning of my own. I'm going home to get my supplies. I sure as hell don't need them anymore.

That is all.

First update in a LONG Time

I am SO sorry for the absolute lack of posts. I feel terrible.

I've been teaching at Albemarle High School for two weeks now. It's going a lot better than I thought it would. I like most of the students. There are a few that I don't like, and a few that I really like. The problem with this is when it comes to grading. They have only done two objective assessments since the school year began and so when I grade all of their work, I'm grading on about a 98% subjective basis. This can be bad for both the students I like and the students I don't like. For the ones I like, sometimes I can tell that I'm artificially putting their grades up; and for the ones I don't like...I usually make them have to be super specific in their answers in order to get the same credit I give to others for saying kind of general things.

I'm a terrible person.

I'll update more in the future, I promise.

The Possibilities..

Today is First-Year Move In Day and I'm sure the roads are going to be atrocious. But, like the idiot I am, I will brave the roads towards the dorm areas in order to see some of my friends.

I'm leaving now. If I never post again it means I've either had a massive stress stroke from dealing with the incompetent drivers or one of the incompetent drivers hit me.

Apologies and Placement Information

August is going to be a slow month for me for posting, so, sorry to the one, maybe two people who read this.

I started at Albemarle High School on Tuesday. Things are going well. It's a lot meetings and really tedious work, but I think it'll be worth it to show that I have experience in SOMETHING. It's going to be Friday and I'm so glad the weekend is very close. I'm tired of really boring meetings and copying and stapling hundreds and hundreds of papers. I figure the stapling won't really stop, but the boring meetings will decline once classes actually start.

I'm also currently wearing my AHS polo. We had Open House tonight. Only three students came to us. It was a slow night.

Other than that, things are going well. First-year move in day is Saturday so there will be some new faces around here. I'm kind of excited for it. My roommates should also be moving in during the next few days, meaning I won't be by myself anymore.

I think I'm more excited about that part of it.

My One form of Hate

Wouldn't it be terrible to see a president's picture in a textbook and under party affiliation have it say "TEA"? I really think it would be.

I hate the TEA Party.

On one of their main websites (because they claim to hate overhead, and, therefore, leaders and actual main sites) freedomworks.org, they don't let you comment on any of the articles. I read one about why they wanted people to vote NO to their senators on Kagan's confirmation....they don't want her because they feel she will "allow too much federal authority." No, I'm sorry; the real reason y'all don't want her is because you think she's a lesbian and because Obama nominated her. That is why you want people to vote no. Instead, you put up some lame excuse that she said the federal government would have the right to say how much of what types of food we should eat everyday................................

Which of us did not grow up with a food pyramid? That is a FEDERAL organization that puts that out. Her saying that they are allowed is only going with what has been already put through Congress, you idiots. I was going to post the FEDERAL page for nutrition guidelines, but the page to comment would never pull up. Ever. And I have a fast connection. I tried to do the same on several other articles, and it was always the same...no comments allowed. I think it's because their articles are so one-sided that if someone put even a smidgen of evidence up as a comment, their whole article would fall to pieces, leading to other FACTS being posted, leading their hypnotized Glenn Beck (motherfucking ass fuck of a human fucking being) followers to actually think for themselves, and destroying their whole movement once and for all.

This is my goal in life: to destroy the TEA Party and all of the conservatives in this country. With force.

Using my Sunday Wisely

I finally broke down and got an external hard drive today. I was down to less than 2 GB of space on Laptop and now I have plenty of room to continue adding to my ever-expanding collection of music and other things.

So now with that done I'm just sitting around in my apartment, watching Arrested Development, discussing sex with various friends for some reason, and waiting to go "decorate" another friend's room with sexy pictures before he gets back to Charlottesville.

We had already changed his facebook profile picture to gay porn last year so this kind of fits with the pranks we pull on him.

Baking Cookies

You never really learn some things about a person until you bake cookies with them.

I visited a friend from Curry earlier today and we were talking, laughing, bitching, having a good time. We had dinner and then started baking cookies for the arrival of her roommate in the morning. That's when she opened up about family problems and her inevitable lack of sex because she just broke up with her boyfriend. Let's just say I never pictured this person as very sexually active, and the fact that she mentioned multiple times about how she's already dreading the prospect of no sex for a while kind of floored me. All I could do was sit there and listen as she mentioned sex and then came to the verge of tears while describing her family situation.

I put in my two cents where I could, mentioning the problems I've had in the last year and a half in order to maybe make it seem like she's not the only one going through a rough patch...although...I've got things pretty set for now, so I don't know where I was going with it really..

All in all it was a good night, but I'm still kind of in a daze about the whole..thing. I did find out that I make my cookie dough balls too big. And I also found out that I'm not the only one who feels completely overwhelmed about student teaching starting up VERY soon.

Withitness

I now have less than a week until I will be in the schools once again..sitting through faculty meetings, welcoming students, and observing like only I can do, with pages and pages of fully detailed notes. My observation notes are generally tedious and filled with information that I look back upon and say, "Yeah, I definitely didn't have to write that down." But that's one of the fun things about teaching that I've noticed-- you never actually know what is going to be important when you're doing something. A little side comment could be the key to unlocking a student's understanding of a topic, a finger moving quickly across a desk could be the first sign that you've lost someone.

I pay attention to a lot of these things when I'm observing, but when I'm teaching it's a completely different story. There is so much pressure to perform and keep track of everybody. One of my friends has a quote on facebook that reads "Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater." I'd say that it's probably closer to one-fifth preparation, three-fifths theater, and one-fifth having a bazillion eyes and the patience of a saint (what we refer to in Curry as 'withitness'). I do not have the final fifth.

So we will see how all of this turns out. In the meantime I'll be going home and tracking down multiple forms, transcripts, proofs of immunization, etc. so that I can apply to be a substitute in Albemarle County Schools. This means that if my CI is absent I get paid for the time I'm there, which is so much better than having to pay them for something I don't plan on using much in my life.

Currently

As I'm sitting in my car in New Kent jamming to some Korean pop I have a bit of time to think about some things. I don't know if they're things I should be thinking about but at this point it doesn't really matter.

I'm relatively happy right now. I haven't had a breakdown in a few weeks and I'm hoping to continue the streak. I've canceled my appointment with the psychologist because I feel that I have things under control for the time being. That's all subject to change and I have a feeling that it will in about two weeks once I start my semester at AHS. But we will see. As for now though, I'm content with where I am. I don't feel like I have anything hanging over my head, I don't have any unnecessary concerns dragging me down, I'm holding myself well.

I know I'm probably depressed, possibly manically..and that's why at times I feel great and energetic and really happy, and others I have crushing feelings of, well, depression. I know online surveys aren't usually a great place to go to look for signs of this, but the school-sponsored one said that I needed to call 911 a few weeks ago amidst my last breakdown. I didn't know what I was supposed to tell them on the phone so I never did. And besides that, I didn't want the embarrassment of having EMTs or firefighters come to my apartment to talk me down. Nah, that's not what I wanted at all.

I can't say what it is that I want when I get that way. I guess I just want a different feeling than what I'm having at the time.

Regardless, I'm doing well now. I'm in a healthy relationship that I'm having fun in, I have great friends who like me, I have a kick-ass apartment (except for my upstairs neighbor who I'm going to have to have a talk with), and I have good prospects for my future.

So, for now, I am just going to kick back and enjoy the rest of my summer and the amazing voices of this K-pop group. It's going to be a good night.

"Tesla died in this hotel"

New York is not the city for me. I don't really think any city is right for me, at least not any big city. There are far too many people.

I do have a new respect for New York drivers though. I had always heard that they are bad, terrible, rude, etc. But what I saw was that people who actually drive constantly in New York really know how to do it. It's the out of state drivers that cause the accidents and mess up the traffic flow. The constant sound of horns blaring is a bit annoying though, but it's the language of the cars.

Speaking of languages I barely heard English the whole time I was up there. It is such a multinational city that to hear 15 languages in the span of half an hour is nothing uncommon. I found that to be both amazing and offputting at the same time. I usually like hearing a lot of languages, but when it hinders my ability to communicate with those around me I like it less.

I did, however, speak with a family of Poles in Ellis Island. We were reading a photograph of a menu from just outside the main entryway to the Island. Most of the menu was written in Polish. I was translating it for my family when I came across "szynka," a word I was not familiar with. I had heard a family speaking Polish on the boat to the Island and waited for them to come up to the photograph before asking "Co jest szynka?" The matriarch of the family thought about answering me in Polish, but then called for her daughter who spoke both English and Polish and she was the one who explained to me that "szynka" is ham. The matriarch then began speaking in Polish to me and I understood what she said to me. That was definitely a highlight of my trip. When I told my Polish teacher about it she laughed and said "That's what happens when a vegetarian teaches Polish."

I don't know why, but I was feeling very sick during my first two days up in the city. This made traveling by boat, plane, and fast elevator very difficult. The trip to the top of the Empire State building almost did me in and afterwards all I wanted to do was go back to our hotel (The New Yorker) and sleep, but we had tickets for the NBC Studio tour, which was also one of the best parts of my trip. I always find it interesting how television studios are so much smaller than what they seem on screen.

There's a lot more to say, but at the same time it's nothing too terribly important. New York is a place where I will probably go back to, but not for a while. I much prefer Virginia. I'm too Southern and offer/expect too much hospitality to/from others.

Nothing, Really

I have a lot of things I want to say right now. Yet because of my inability to focus my words or soften the blows that some of them would inevitably bring to others I am going to hold my tongue until later.

I leave for New York tomorrow morning though. It's a brief family vacation over the weekend, but still, I've never been to the city before so it's kind of exciting.

There's not much else to say that's not deliberately mean to others so I'm done.

Recap of the 24th

I took the Praxis II test today. It's my last education test that I'll have to take for my certification and I'm glad that I'm finished with it because it was costing me so much money to take all of the tests. I don't know what my score is yet because I had to take the test on paper, but I feel pretty confident of a passing score and should know by 4 weeks what I got.

I also went out on the sailboat with my family again. We have decided to not go out in the heat of the afternoon anymore because it was well over 100 degrees. We did see some dolphins/porpoises out in the York River/Bay area which was..meh..kind of cool. I can only watch animals do the same thing over and over for a small amount of time before I'm bored with it. Other than that, it was just really hot and with minimal wind blowing it's hard to get anywhere in a sailboat.

Charlottesville will be my home for the next few days. I plan on going home on Wednesday so that I can pack for our New York trip over next weekend. It should be good.

Traffic + Beach

I really don't understand traffic sometimes. It's reasonable to expect traffic because there's been a wreck or construction that's blocking a lane, but I find it difficult to understand why it's there when there's no reason for it to be there.

I drove to VA Beach Thursday afternoon and was stuck in roughly an hour's worth of traffic because 1) idiot drivers would not merge from an ending lane until they absolutely had to, and 2) drivers were apparently scared to enter the Hampton Roads Bridge-Tunnel and would slam on brakes before descending into the tunnel. After we passed through the tunnel traffic flowed absolutely fine.

It was extremely frustrating to be sitting in my car, WITHOUT AC, on a day that was well over 100 degrees with drivers who were simply being inconsiderate of general courtesy on the road towards other drivers.

It's too bad I'm not much of a beach person, or a water person, or a person who looks good with minimal clothing on. All of those things added up make me not participate well with the general society of, well, beach. Other than that unfortunate series of problems I have with myself I had a good time down there. $2 margaritas are definitely a plus for a good night.

Traffic was just as atrocious on the way back, but would have been moreso had I not gotten off 64 at 199 outside of Williamsburg. Traffic had not been flowing well since about 7 miles before the tunnel all the way to Jefferson Avenue in Newport News. After that, the interstate opened up a bit, but by the time I was hitting Williamsburg I could see brakes locking up a little down the road from me once again. I got my car off the interstate and took the back way home, meaning 199 to 60 to 30 to 33-30 to 30 with only minimal traffic once I got to West Point.

In the meantime, my face is slightly sunburnt. And by slightly I mean it's pretty red and I have a white section between my eyes where my sunglasses were siting. Something like this always happens to me when I go to a place with sun.

Fireworks

I'm going to try to go for a lighter post tonight.

My family and I went to Busch Gardens tonight and stayed for the fireworks show. There were a whole lot of explosions and the whole time I could only think "I wonder how much money this costs to put this show on every single night?"

They had big ones, slightly smaller ones, red ones, blue ones, green ones, purple ones, sparkly ones, loud ones, quieter ones, and those silent ones that are really bright.

They also had ones that looked like things. Besides the obvious circle shape, I saw what appeared to be a smiley face, my dad saw a box, and my sister saw a heart. I thought I saw a heart later and asked if it was one. She said no. I did not see a heart.

We had to push through the crowds in order to get out after that, but overall it was not too terribly bad. It's probably the only time I'll go to BG this year so I tried to enjoy it and not think only of the crowds of people or any other issues going on.

Risk

I'm a bit wound up at the moment, having just sent off a lengthy reply to a great friend who is looking out for everybody's best interests. It, once again, has to deal with the money situation left over from the HoL and the seemingly growing mistrust between the various camps that left that POS house. I say the term 'camps' and regret in some ways, but in others I don't. I think this may be because when the "hands-off" landlord would not leave us the fuck alone during the lease-renewal time I eventually went around and asked for a consensus on whether or not we would be living there again. The votes were almost evenly split, but it was the abstentions that threw it in the favor of "NO." With that vote I called the landlord and told him that we would not be renewing the lease.

Soon after that the "YES" voters took the abstaining voters and signed a new lease without telling the "NO" voters about it. Just because we didn't want to live in that house again didn't mean that we didn't want to live anywhere near the others..but the fact that really upset me about them signing the new lease was when I was upstairs and heard two of my roommates talking in the pot-smoking room about a new lease. When I went down to ask where it was, they just closed the door on me and continued talking. It hurt me to think that they would be taking out their anger on not living in that house again on me, but I guess since I was the one who actually said "NO" and called the landlord, I was the only one that could have been blamed.

It was with that act that myself and the two people I am currently living with went out and looked for apartments. The other two people wanted an apartment at the opposite end of Grounds, and, being without other friends who wanted me to live with them, I decided to just go along with it. I have to say that I do like the location and I love my apartment, but it's the separation that bothers me.

And with the recent squabbling over the remainder of the security deposit money and the blatant theft that the person who closed the door on me committed, old wounds are being reopened. I have to choose my words carefully. I have to not disturb the peace more than I have done in the last year. I have to allow myself to take a back seat for the time being, no matter how much I may occasionally want to be the one who finally solves this once and for all.

My words are harsh and must be tamed before I speak. If I wasn't constantly on patrol for what I say then I would probably have few to no friends. Writing gives me an opportunity to filter what comes out of my mind. It's difficult, however, to write somebody a note when you are face to face with them, rather than just saying it. This is why I refrain from arguing with people in person for the most part. This is why I will quietly sit back when people say things I disagree with, regardless of how strongly I feel about it. I'm scared of what I would say to these people.

I've already spoken without thinking to people many times before and the effects of my words are not usually what I intend them to be. I am sharp; I am poison. My words hurt at first but then the hurt spreads and more pain or anger takes their place. Unfortunately, there is no cure for words. Apologies only go so far. The spoken word is a powerful tool that can bond, love, help, destroy, condemn, and cast out. The written word has the same power, but at least with writing, I can see it, I can change it, and I can erase it before I release it upon the world. But with either one of these two options, there is the risk of saying too much, saying too little...and doing both, but meaning neither.

The Proactive Enjoyable Idiotic Paradigm Paradox

I always fill up a glass of water or some other non-alcoholic, potable substance before I go to sleep, whether that be at night or during one of my frequent "Grandma Naps" that form the base of my afternoon schedule. I'm unsure as to whether I drool a lot and just can't find the drool when I wake up or if my body is leaking fluid from somewhere else, but I always wake up very thirsty.

I have to say that sitting on the front porch of my friends' place tonight has been an enjoyable experience. It's slightly humid and there are a shit-ton of bugs flying around me, but at the same time it's nice to be able to sit outside and not be oppressed by the sun or by heat. Maybe me sweating so much is what causes my constant dehydration..anyway..

I made my way over here earlier today after an excruciatingly boring day by myself in my apartment only to find that the door was still locked. I asked one of my friends through text when they would be getting back so I could get my charger out of the house. She replied that there was a key in a secret location (I'm not going to post it on here, duh) and that I could have gotten in any time over the weekend.

Shortly after that my gameboy died and I seem to have left that charger at my parent's house. So now I've resorted to playing ROMs on Laptop whenever the internet at my apartment cuts out..which is frequently...

We are also embroiled in another money battle over the remainder of the security deposit from the HoL. Ronnie sent off a somewhat scathing email to the person who is now in charge of our money, but I believe it's for the best. I'm not going to say too much about my opinions on here...so....yeah....

Changing the subject completely, Erin and I had a brief conversation (I think it lasted 3 maybe 4 sentences) about writing styles and how she should incorporate her name into the titles like Tori Spelling does. I've thought of some, all of which are terrible: ThErin Back Again, All's FErin Love and War, and MErinade. Like I said, they are all terrible. But I think they could be used as an amazing stepping stone towards future book titles that are not lacking in either amazingness or punnity...neither of which I think are actually words.

I'm still working on a way to get my name into the titles. I believe that if I ever am able to do it, it will be the best book title in the world ever...or I could just keep writing short stories...books are too long.

Wine Tasting

I just got back from my first wine tasting. Erin was working at a festival in Fishersville which is about 45 minutes from Cville so I decided I'd make the trip and experience an actual wine tasting.

The people parked me at the furthest spot from the actual festival..all the way in the back of a cow pasture. I was the last car in the last row and had to walk around at least a quarter of a mile in order to get up to the tents.

Once I got there I noticed how people crowded up near all of the booths. I'd heard from my parents that you really have to force your way up to the front sometimes because some of the people just want to talk about the wine and make friends with the vendors. I reached my hand over top of some people a few times before I started feeling like I was being unnecessarily rude and left to walk around until I found New Kent Winery.

When I eventually got to the booth Erin was working the cash register for people who wanted to buy wine. Fortunately for New Kent, theirs was one of the "most sellingest" booths (to quote what I told them after a few tastings).

I eventually made my way to several booths, joining a small group, usually a young couple, at each of them so it would be easier for us to get to the front once the previous group left the area. I chatted with some people and managed to spread New Kent's name around to various groups.

I won't go into much detail about the wines here except to say that New Kent's wines were the kinds of wines I was actually looking for...meaning that they were made out of grapes. Not blueberries, cranberries, apples, chili peppers, or pears.

There were some weird wines at the festival. Especially the one that tasted like I had bitten into an actual pepper. That was an experience. I got a sticker for drinking it.

Ruffner

Had anybody asked me earlier today how I planned on spending Friday night I would not have said any of the following:
1) with my head under a recliner unwedging a power cord from a spring;
2) attempting to get my phone charger from my friends' house, only to be locked out with everybody gone for the weekend;
3) stealing internet in my car with a big-ass bug crawling on my computer screen;
4) watching TV alone in my apartment because my roommate failed to tell me he wasn't coming back tonight;
5) coming close to making myself vomit in order to feel better;
6) sitting on a couch in Ruffner Hall, home of the Curry School of Education, at 1 a.m.

I've never thought of the Education School as a refuge. I've rarely even thought of it as my school to be honest. But I guess I spend enough time here that it's become a second home to me. I know the building too well. I know the people well enough. I can predict when the Curry Cafe vending machines will be accepting Cav Advantage money and when you can only use cash.

My UVa ID gives me after-hours access to this building which is magnetically locked after 9 p.m. or so. This isn't the first time I've come here late at night, but it's the only time I've been here this late and had nothing to do inside. No last minute lesson plan changes to turn in, no scrambling to finish a series of podcasts...it's just me being bored and lonely and using the school's internet.

The Ed. School, by the way, is one of the ugliest buildings on Grounds, both inside and out. This building is a remnant of 1970s architecture that directly clashes with everything else at the University. It pleases me to say that this morning I attended the dedication of Bavaro Hall, the NEW Ed. School building. The massive complex dwarfs Ruffner and hides its older partner from being seen from the street. Its new brick and white exterior shines in contrast to the dull and fading façade (although nobody really knows what side of this building is the front) of Ruffner.

We've been told that classes during the Fall should be in Bavaro for the most part unless the filling of the interior takes longer than planned and then a transition period during the Fall or even at the beginning of Spring semester would occur. Either way, I've been guaranteed to have at least one class in Bavaro, even if I have to wait until my final semester at UVa.

In the meantime, though, I've been relaxing on a couch in front of a first-floor entrance to the old Ed. School looking at pictures of the new Ed. School scrolling on a television in the Office of Admissions and Student Services. I may take a walk bare-foot around this building tonight....just in case I never get an opportunity to do it again.

I want to go to There

When my mom got home from work today she started talking about making plans for a vacation in mid to late December, after my sister and I are finished with school for the semester. London was mentioned.

Oh, how I miss London. It's the one city in Europe I've been to twice (unless you count the Paris airport, which I do not). I absolutely love it: the culture, the language, standing in queues, seeing the sites...I really miss that city.

Something about me changes when I'm over there. I adopt a slurred British accent, I attempt to walk as the Londoners do, my gestures and my expressions change to fit the culture of where I am. Traveling abroad is something so amazing.

I've already begun to think of places where I want to go--the British Museum being the main place and Westminster Abbey (note its presence in the background of the picture on here). I've been to the British Museum twice, but each time I somehow always get lost in the Greek and Roman sections and never can make it out before it's been hours and I've seen only two to three areas of the massive complex. As for Westminster Abbey, you can never get enough of seeing the tombs of some of England's most famous monarchs and other influential people. Of course I'm open to going to other places as well.

My parents also discussed taking an excursion out to Windsor, Salisbury, and Bath. I've been to Salisbury (Stonehenge is there) but the other two have eluded me on my past visits, so I'm looking forward to just hoping about going there.

Another possible side trip would be to take the Eurostar (2.5 hours one way) over to Paris and spend a day there. My sister has never been to France and I'd love to get a chance to build up more of my emerging French skills.

So right now I'm pricing out different ways of getting to Paris from London. Eurostar seems to be the quickest and most efficient mode of transportation, but the scenic route from London to Dover to Calais to Boulogne to Etaples to Amiens and then Paris would offer a lot more variant sight seeing. It's just the 7 hour one-way journey and £175 cost for round-trip tickets that bothers me.

I think I'm sticking with the bullet train option for the time being.

¡Viva España! and other things

Somehow I always end up being late to get-togethers with my good friends back home. My friend Paul had told me to be in Mechanicsville by 2 p.m. on Sunday in order to watch the coverage for the World Cup final. I figured I'd leave Charlottesville by 1 and get there a little after 2. Seeing as how I don't know much about soccer and couldn't name a single person on either teams playing in the last game watching the pre-game coverage would have done little for me.

I didn't start to leave Charlottesville until around 1:30, which meant I had at least an hour and fifteen minutes until I arrived in Mechanicsville and with the game starting at 2:30 I was going to be late. Although with that I kept my streak for this World Cup of never watching the opening play of the game. I guess that's an accomplishment.

I somehow managed to convince Channing to come up and watch the game with us. He arrived shortly after I did and, after some rearranging of the seats at the table, started talking with Paul's sister while I kind of stuck with my friends. The game was uneventful for the most part. Other than the Extra Time goal that Spain scored, the best part of the game, in my opinion, was when the Spanish player was karate kicked in the chest. I didn't like it because the guy got kicked, but because of just how awesome the guy doing the kicking looked as he was flying in there with his leg outstretched.

Spain eventually won and I felt vindicated by that because all I wanted was for a Spanish-speaking team to win.

So after the game ended and we made some plans that confused the heck out of me, Channing and I slipped over to rue21 where he had a gift certificate. I didn't want to bother him too much while he shopped so I just kind of stood around and listened as he mumbled to himself about clothes and blue and talked to the girl at the register about cologne.

I then proceeded to drive all the way to King William and hang out with my friends. We played a few rounds of Bananagrams and Scattergories before I had to leave to get back to Charlottesville.

Right after I got onto 64 I noticed a car shoot up behind me and start to flash its lights at me. I kept driving as the car continued to flash its lights and follow me as I changed lanes. I slowed down and was about to pull off of the interstate when I got a call from one of my old roommates saying that he and another friend of mine were behind me. It was terrifying.

Once I got back to Charlottesville it was like everybody was coming over at the same time so we just hung out, played Halo and caught up with each other. I eventually made it back to my apartment where I discovered that my Linksys connection has died. This means that I'll either have to get Internet for myself soon or I'll just have to drive in order to get a signal...which is what I'm going to have to do now that I'm going home for a few days.

Moving, II

So I'm pretty much fully settled into my new apartment. It's been a lot of work and thankfully my mom is just as excited for me moving as I am...and because of that she has allowed me to spend her (really, my father's) money on buying things to set up the place.

The living room is complete, the kitchen is almost finished, the bathrooms have everything they need, my room needs to be rearranged but everything is in there.

I've been putting dishes away, constructing floor lamps, laying bath mats, and thinking about where pictures could go. All of the pictures I had in my room at the House of Leaves will not fit into my room at the Hill.

My two roommates are not moved in yet and so until then this place is mine. I have it set up the way I want.

I have a feeling that when one of my roommates gets here he'll want to change some things around.

He is very..finicky..about where things go and how things look.

One-Liners

I wonder how things are going to work out.

Sometimes I see some possibilities of decency and normalcy.

At others all I see is someone who is a bit off, depressed, and has been unfortunately raised.

I wish for better circumstances for this person.

I wish for better circumstances for myself.

I think about how things would be if things had just been slightly different.

I think about how happy this person could be if things had turned out differently.

I've come to accept things that I wouldn't have just a few months ago.

All of everything in the past history of the world leads us to where we are now.

That's why I love history.

Just think back to your family history.

So many people in the past have had to come together for you to even be born.

Don't bring outer forces into this.

I'm discussing the REAL world.

The world that is not fictional.

And I'm not a person who is good at statistics, so I can only imagine what the probability would have to be for me to even have gotten here.

My dad's father's family came from Poland.

My dad's mother's family came from Germany and then West Virginia.

My mom's mother's family came from England and then the Caribbean.

Montserrat to be precise.

My mom's father's family came from Germany and then Virginia.

These people all came together somehow.

And I am the connecting factor.

Stream

I'm going to try a Stream of Consciousness post and see how it goes. If it seems random and disjointed...then welcome to my mind.

I'm sitting in my brother's house with Erin and Travis watching Tosh.0 and trying to split my attention between the show and other pressing issues. I'd like to think that my ability of typing out my thoughts could help to focus some of my..well, thoughts. But at the same time all I really want to do is watch TV and finish drinking my special drink which is V8 Splash and Smirnoff. I'd get Belvedere but it's too expensive..although the Polishness of it makes me happy.

I'm losing so much of my Polish. Last night I went back to Wal Mart to find some more stuff for my apartment and I tried to think of what the word for Tuesday was. It took me forever to think of the word Wtorek. Even after I remembered it I wasn't sure about it. And then I could not think of the word for July. I think it's Lipiec.

My sister in law is talking to me about Jeopardy and the New Kent Winery where she works. All I know is that I can't go tomorrow when she wants me to because my car will be in the shop getting the compressor replaced and I'm supposed to have a lunch date with my old boss's ex wife. It sounds like we have a strange connection because of that but we're actually really close friends.

My friends are expecting me up in Charlottesville on Friday night. I'm kind of excited because we are going to get drinky and watch Hercules. At least we are supposed to. It's one of my favorite Disney movies. I don't like gospel music that much (probably because of the subject material) but Alan Menken did an excellent job with the music for that movie. Sometimes I'll just ride down the road listening to the songs I've downloaded from the movie.

I could go on forever with this, but I'm going to stop here. I'm losing at Jeopardy because I'm not really paying attention.

Leaving

I have only about 45 minutes left in this house. I'm really going to miss living here. The cathedral ceilings, the unlimited internet access, having a full size bed...things like that I'm going to miss.

Tomorrow evening I depart for Charlottesville again..a continuation of my summer of never really staying anywhere for an extended period of time. Being jobless I have this freedom, but at the same time, money is tight...or at least I'm making it tight so I don't overspend on anything.

So within the next hour I will be packing my belongings and evacuating this house that has been a home to me for almost a week now.

After that I get to ride in my car with all the windows down since my AC is dead.

Nauseous

I have a weak stomach, let's just get that across now. I vomit easily and often feel sick when I wake up. I am not pregnant, by the way, so don't suggest that as a possibility. That's just silly.

But somehow with my weak stomach I can look up disgusting pictures on the internet when other friends are either too scared or disgusted to do it themselves.

Today, though, I found out something that I cannot really stand to look at for extended periods of time: Diphallia.

Look it up. It's not as gross as it may seem...some of them are just like little tiny baby ones.

This wouldn't really get you anywhere in life unless you're really into some freaky DP.

The Fourth

I spent the early part of my day (meaning from around 11 a.m. to 2 p.m.) watching the History Channel. They were finally playing historical shows for once. I was happy about that until I realized the shows I was watching weren't completely accurate with a lot of things.

Two of the major things are that 1) Harriet Beecher Stowe was NOT just some housewife from New England. She was from a very prominent family and was one of the few very educated women of the era, and 2) Abraham Lincoln was not some unknown politician when he gained the Republican nomination in 1860. He had been in politics for a while, had served in the US House of Representatives and the Illinois General Assembly, and widely debated US Senator Stephen Douglass, gaining him national attention. All of that aside, the shows were also somewhat sympathetic to the South in trying to validate the evil of slavery.

I then proceeded to bum around the house where I'm staying until I went back home around 4 in order to go to a family thing for the 4th. The minute I walked through the door I went upstairs to my room and collapsed until around 5:45 when we had to leave.

I had a good time with my family over in New Kent. There were games and beer and wine and it was just a good time.

Fireworks were a little lame though, but I didn't buy them so I am not allowed to complain that much.

Back in the Burg

So, I'm living in Williamsburg for a bit.

It's strange living in a gated community. I have to present a pass each time I come up and I'm afraid of coming in too late as the late-night guards are usually unhappy that they have to work that late at night. I've had to readjust my schedule as I'm usually out until around 1 or so when I am at home.

On a good note though, the weather has been amazingly nice the last two days.

Also, here I have cable television and high speed internet all the time. I no longer have to drive 20 minutes just to check my facebook, which I am pretty much addicted to.

Garbage Rugs

I had three rugs at the House of Leaves. I can now only locate one. My apartment complex wants us to cover most of our wood flooring with rugs in order to reduce scratching and noise. One is not enough.

I got a text from my friend Anna today telling me that there were two rugs rolled up by the dumpster in the complex across the street from her apartment. I told her I'd go take a look at them and see if they would be worth taking.

I immediately spotted them as I pulled up into the parking lot, rolled up by the dumpster just as I expected. What I didn't expect was the condition they would be in.

They are cleaner than the rugs I took home from the HoL.

Rugs are heavy though. And awkward to carry. And I'm sure I looked like a creeper as I struggled to pick up these garbage rugs and stuff them into my tiny car. I eventually managed and made it back to my apartment where I immediately rolled out the green and beige carpets in the living room.

They aren't the best looking rugs as far as style, but they're at least something.

And the funny part is that one is exactly like one of the rugs I cannot locate at home. It's the green one and you can't miss it once you step into my apartment.

Now they just have to pass the roommate test. I'm going to lobby hard for the garbage rugs because I just don't feel like footing the bill for new ones.

Delays

So, I forgot to mention earlier that because of the outages and trees being down at my apartment complex, I cannot move in until Sunday at the earliest. I'm pretty bummed.

I'm back in West Point for the night so that I can get more of my stuff and take it up to Cville tomorrow.

Severe Storm

We had a pretty massive storm pass through Charlottesville yesterday around 5 in the afternoon. It sprung up all of a sudden and just as quickly disappeared leaving a trail of destruction.

Trees were down in roads, on cars, and on power lines. Branches and debris were strewn through the streets and power was knocked out for large areas of the city.

Driving became a particular hazard afterwards as most stop lights were out and the drivers did not know how to proceed through the intersections. There were multiple accidents because of this.

Phone service was down for a while as well.

The explanation that is emerging is that we were hit with a microburst, although it looked much more like a hurricane had come through.

The storm lasted maybe three to five minutes.

Orientation Observation

The heat index is hovering between 107 and 110 degrees today while the actual recorded temperature is around 100. It's disgustingly hot.

One of the rounds of orientation is going on today. I walked up to central grounds and watched as groups of confused people maneuvered around the various buildings and sidewalks. Some of these people looked nervous, some looked overly excited, some looked like they didn't care, and others simply looked down as they walked.

I wonder what I had looked like to an established student when I came up for my orientation..I can only assume I would have been the person looking down at my feet..the way I had always walked before I came to UVa and learned to look around and notice my surroundings and the people who are usually too wrapped up in what they are doing to notice other people walking on the same sidewalk they are.

Gauging the Width

Today Channing and I went up to Virginia Center Commons so I could get some new earrings and we could hang out for a bit. I also was finally able to give him the dozen or so Spanish music CDs that I've been carrying around with me for weeks now.

I found the Piercing Pagoda pretty easily, seeing as how it's right in the middle of one of the arms of the dying mall. At first I just looked and talked to the woman about gauges, which really intimidated me so we just kind of walked away after I told her I would be back later. After around 30 minutes of walking the mall and pointing out where stores used to be I returned to the Piercing Pagoda.

I found two pairs of earrings that I liked, but they were 16 gauges and I'm roughly 18 right now. I talked with the girl about whether or not I'd still be able to wear them and she said that, yes, I would. So I bought them.

After I dropped Channing off and went home I struggled with the earrings at first, not realizing the ends screwed off rather than pulled off. After that I put some Neosporin on the tips as the girl had advised me to do. With much difficulty I eventually got the left one through. The right one though gave me quite a bit of trouble. I could get the tip in but it kept going down into my ear, rather than through. The best part was having to pull it out each time after a failed attempt.

I ended up going to the downstairs bathroom and using a set of mirrors to find the hole on the back of my ear and poking it through that in order to kind of help it squeeze through once I started putting it in from the other side. This worked and I now have both of the new earrings in my ears.

My left ear feels fine now, but my right one is still very tender. It'll probably be like this for a while.

TEA Party Infiltration

Rather than type up a whole new thing for my TEA Party visit last night, I am just going to post what I wrote and sent out to the other KW Democrats after I returned home from the meeting and had a chance to listen to some of my audio recording:

Fellow Democrats,

I have just come back from a place where few Democrats ever tread: a T.E.A. Party meeting. My decision to go to the meeting came after I read their write-up in the Tidewater Review which said something along the lines of "The King William TEA Party will not tolerate any racist, sexist, or bigoted statements by any of its members or at its sanctioned meetings." I wanted to see if this was a true statement or not.

So, armed with just a pen, notebook, and audio recorder I swallowed what dignity I had and went to the meeting. I was greeted warmly as I picked up their handouts and then I went into the room where the meeting was about to begin. Attending were 24 people, 14 men, 10 women, all white, all but me and the Chairman's daughter were over 45, with most being in their 60s or so. The meeting was much more like a
church session or informal get together, even though they have the same elected positions that we in the KW Democratic party do and are now incorporated as a non-profit organization. There was no actual business that they conducted, but they already have $1068.68 in their account.

I have an audio recording of the entire meeting so I will not go into too many details of it now as my email would be pages and pages of me talking about what they said. Essentially though, the TEA Party claims that they are "not racist, not violent, but informed" citizens. To me, if you, as a functioning organization, have to explicitly state those things then you probably are what you say you are not.

Statements that contradicted the above claim include, but are not limited to racially profiling illegal immigrants by saying that they will be speaking Spanish and not listing a single country of Europe as a place where undocumented immigrants come from, only countries in Central and South America, Asia, and Africa. These statements were part of a series defending Arizona's new anti-immigrant law which they see as fully justified.

The members of the TEA Party also want to deny citizenship to the children of illegal immigrants even though it is explicitly stated in the US Constitution (a document they claim they wish to return to) that anybody born within the borders of the United States or any of its territories is a citizen of the United States.

As for non-violence: one woman suggested term limits and recall measures for Representatives and Senators who do not fulfill any of their promises by 1/3 of their term. After she said "if they do not do any of them by the end of that time then they're gone" a man seated behind me asked "can we shoot 'em?" So much for non-violence..

As for "informed" all of their information material was from one source, as the Chairman admitted at the end of the meeting. I learned as a journalist and as a historian that one source does not, by a long shot, give you all the information you need in order to make an informed report or decision. This is also just common sense, something these TEA Party people believe they are full of.

I was called out at the meeting for taking "very distinct notes" and was asked if I was a reporter (25:40 of my recording). There was also a brief period of UVa/Charlottesville bashing as they are considered a "bastion of the Left" by the TEA Party -- and when the man seated next to me asked me if I would be at the next meeting I replied, "No, I will be back in Charlottesville, at UVa where I go to school."

One last bit of interesting information, they also wish for the repeal of the 17th Amendment -- the direct election of Senators. They believe that by returning the choice of Senators to the state legislatures, it will return the Senate to what the people of the state actually want, rather than by having the people decide for themselves what they want in a Senator.

Sorry for such a long email. It would be longer but I am cutting it here. If you would like more information on what I saw and heard or want a copy of my audio recording so you can hear for yourself word-for-word what went on at the meeting I will be more than glad to supply you with that information.

Thank you for reading and have a great Friday.



It was quite an interesting meeting.

Having a T.E.A. Party

I've decided to go to the King William County T.E.A. Party meeting tonight.

The reason is because in last week's Tidewater Review the TEA Party published an advertisement for their upcoming meeting about illegal immigrants and at the end of the article they wrote "The King William Concerned Citizen's Movement does not tolerate any racism, sexism, or bigotry of any kind by its members or at sanctioned meetings."

So, I've armed myself with my audio recorder, my notebook, and a fast-writing pen and I'm going to go to this meeting and just see what they actually say then, because, I mean, I'm pretty sure some racist or bigoted things are going to be said when they talk about illegal immigrants.

I guess I'll just have to find out for myself.

Kings Dominion Adventure

We had decided a while ago while we were still in school to go to Kings Dominion during the summer. Yesterday we finally did just that.

The coordination was the most difficult part of the whole thing. I got some free tickets from my friend who is an employee at the park. After some work convincing others that a "chance of scattered thunderstorms" was not that big of a problem we finally were on our way to Doswell.

It only takes about 50 minutes or so for me to get up there from my house. We met up with Ronnie who was coming down from NOVA and then went on to the park.

It was not crowded. At all.

We got to ride anything and everything we wanted to with minimal wait time. I think the longest we waited was 20 minutes for Flight of Fear...but it's inside so it wasn't too terribly hot.

So in the end we stayed there for roughly 7 or 8 hours. It doesn't really matter.

Either way I was still very chafed at the end.

Public library Awkwardness

It's always awkward when you run into someone you used to be friends with but aren't anymore. That awkwardness is increased when the person is slightly mentally off and you just kind of dropped them from your life one day.

I'm currently sitting near the person I did that to in the library in West Point.

He is much more tan than I remember though..

Random Update

I'm actually at home...using a broadband connector that my dad is borrowing off one of his employees. I'm just scared about how much I can use because we only have 250 MB per month and it's quite a few of us using it.

Anyway, Laptop's new battery came in today. I've performed the transplant and am now just waiting for the battery to die before I charge it up fully for the first time.

I think I'm also going to go lay down for a bit. It's hot and humid, which makes me sleepy.

Battery

I have to get a new battery for Laptop (that's my laptop's name). He died on me the other night after only 30 minutes of non-plugged in usage. I did a health check on him and HP told me that he needs this transplant soon, both for his sake and mine. I just didn't think he would still be this young when the time came..

I guess he's two years old now though. I got him after I graduated from community college...somehow I had to go through a whole year of college (don't say ANYTHING about community college not being real college. I will find you...and I will fuck you up...) whereas my sister gets a laptop in the 10th grade.

I'm sorry...I guess my emotions are just running a little high right now. Even though Laptop is assuring me that he's doing fine by his whirring and proper functioning right now, I know the minute I leave the room he's going to sputter and possibly pass out again. I just want him to be healthy...

So tonight, with his approval, I went on and ordered him a new battery. In about two weeks or so I will perform the transplant myself and possibly donate his old battery to a needy computer somewhere else in the world.

It's what Laptop and I both want.

Thunderstorms

We ended our last class early...two hours early to be close to precise. We said our fond farewells to the people we cared about and then my good friend from my class took me back to the Lodge. I noticed how extravagantly humid it was outside and how a deep haze hung over the horizon and treelines through Charlottesville. I should have known what that meant.

I was laying in my bed watching television at around 3:30 when I heard a noise that sounded like one of the older women who work at the hotel pushing around a cart of used towels. I didn't really pay much attention to it until I heard it a second time, this time louder though. I kind of figured we were having a passing storm but did not think it was going to get too serious. Until the power went out.

It quickly came back on and I was glad because I really needed the AC going in my room. The power stayed on for another three minutes or so and was then cut out again. This time it did not come back on for a while.

Lightning was cracking all around the Lodge and I could hear water pouring off the second floor balcony into the area in front of my room. I pulled the blinds open and looked outside at the strong winds blowing leaves, sticks, and small branches down from the woods behind the motel. Rain was coming down heavily and running down the hill towards the back of the motel where my room is.

Then the hail started. It wasn't large hail, nothing damaging, but it was enough to take note of. Water, in the mean time, kept building up more and more outside of my room. I opened my door and was met with about two inches of water standing in the walkway. Luckily the doors have enough of a doorstop ridge that the water was never able to breach. I stood in my door frame for a few minutes as the storm raged beyond the protection of the overhang balcony. A Hispanic guy ran out of his room and passed me in order to get to his car for something. As soon as he leaped over the giant puddle that was in front of my door and started going up the stairs we saw an intensely bright flash of lightning and immediately heard a sky-splitting crack. He just turned around and looked at me for a second or two, smiled, and continued running out to his car.

I eventually closed my door (after taking a few pictures of the water) and turned the TV on to continue my done-with-class-early rituals....and the cable was out. It remained out for several hours...Several hours in a hotel room by yourself with nothing to do is terribly boring.

Around 8:30 another storm rolled through. Not as powerful as the first, but still fairly rough. It completely broke the humidity's stranglehold on the area and somehow restored the cable. Unfortunately, the Internet at the Lodge is still out so I'm sitting in my car outside of the Ed. School siphoning the network connection.

It feels a lot like what I have to do at home..

Quick Post

My last summer class is about to begin now.

I'm so glad it's over.

Internet Problems

The hotel changed the password for their Internet server on Monday and rather than calling the front desk and asking what it is, I've just kept with what I first did when I got here -- siphoning someone else's connection.

Poor "Carrie." She might not even realize that her signal can, for most of the time, be picked up at the Lodge. It does happen to cut out occasionally which causes some problems, but since I'm done with my classes now, or at least the work associated with them, I only use the Internet for my own needs, not for work.

I'm only here for three more days...really just two because I have to be out by 11 a.m. on Friday.

Brief Panic

I got back to the Lodge after grabbing lunch today, stuck my card in the door and a little red light started blinking. I tried turning the handle and nothing. I stuck my card in again and again and again hoping for a change, but nothing.

I looked around and luckily nobody else was around. The parking lot that had been so full last night was empty except for my car and one truck that was at the opposite end. I eventually walked around to the front of the hotel to where the office is and told the woman that my card had stopped working.

"Has it been near anything metal?"

Well, yeah. I mean, it was in my car, it sits on my refrigerator in my room, it was in the same pocket as my house keys, and I had also walked past a large metal fence in order to get down to the office. I also told her that it had been near my credit cards and that that may have been the problem. She asked what room I was in and I told her. She typed the information into the computer and said that my card had actually expired today and that I had apparently added a few more days to my stay...which isn't quite right...I'm supposed to be here until June 4 and I have my check-in sheet to prove it. But I didn't want to argue so I just said 'Oh' and allowed her to recharge my key card.

I walked briskly back up to my room and the green light came on and I heard a metallic click from within the door. I burst in and immediately felt the cold blast of the AC which was amazing after having to deal with the humidity that is plaguing Virginia recently.

So I guess it's been handled now. I just hope it doesn't happen again.

Memorial Day Weekend

Traffic is bad through West Point right now. People are hauling their trailers, boats, campers, ATVs, and anything else that can be pulled behind a vehicle down 33 to destinations on the Rappahannock and at the Bay. Williamsburg is also crowded as I saw first hand when I tried to take my cousin and sister out to New Town last night. We found a parking spot only because someone pulled out of one when we were driving around, but left shortly after we saw a large group of pre-teens energetically walk into the movie theater. We left to go to Chipotle where I dropped off my cousin and sister and walked over to the neighboring restaurant and talked to Korie, who I haven't seen in a long time now. She and I talked for a few minutes, but she was working, so we made plans to get together after I get back next weekend. After we left we got back onto Richmond Road and braved the traffic until we got back to my grandma's house.

It's not like I hate all of the traffic. At least the people here, even the tourists, know how to drive...a SHARP contrast to Charlottesville were I kind of fear for my car and my life every time I drive somewhere.

We're having a cookout tomorrow afternoon. We're doing it on Sunday so I can get back to school and work on my last assignment for my summer classes. It feels like it just started and now it's already over. 6 credit hours completed in three weeks. And the fact that we had Fridays off made it so much more bearable.

So in the meantime I'm just sitting in my dad's shop, listening to some music, arranging my iTunes and making new collections of songs that are not available in the United States. I'll probably go home soon though and watch some TV while laying on the floor.

I always fall asleep on the sofa.

Fortune Cookie

I mentioned earlier that I found a fortune that I actually liked the last time I got Chinese food. After going home and picking it up before I came back to Charlottesville, I can now say what it was....

"Mutual assistance in despair will make the ugly situation more fair."

Say what you might about my taste in fortunes or sayings in general, but I rather like this one. That's probably because it reminds me of a certain situation I am still dealing..sorry, HELPING with.

As the ultimate sign of creepiness, I went into the FL in KW as I was leaving the county and left the fortune cookie paper at his register, on purpose of course.

I doubt he saw it, and even if he didn't it still gave me this sense of...I don't know how to describe it. It's like one of those feelings that I may have helped somebody even though they don't know that it was me who was trying to help.

And I'm fine with that...just as long as my actions aren't attributed to a certain being who I'm most definitely not on good terms with right now..

Moving

Moving sucks. There's the packing and the cleaning and the running out of time...but at the same time, I love it. I love being able to regress to how things looked before I invaded a space with all of my personal belongings. It makes me feel like something about me has changed.

I've lived in two places in Charlottesville since coming to UVa: The Tower and The House of Leaves-- code names for their actual locations. I can now add a third: The Econo Lodge on 29. I have my own personal space, no bugs, and cable television that actually works.

Now I can come home and actually relax...if only I didn't have work to do for my summer classes.

Forgetfulness

Once again, it's been a while since I've posted on here.

It's raining pretty hard outside right now. Luckily I'm with my mom and dad and they have keys to the shop so I don't have to sit out in my car this time.

On a more random note, I got a fortune cookie yesterday with lunch and for once in a very long time I actually liked what it said. I cannot, however, remember what it was at this moment. It is currently sitting on my dresser at home along with some of the other stuff I plan on taking back to Charlottesville with me tonight.

Only one more day in the House of Leaves. I'm excited.

Monday Night

Spending time with friends watching "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia" and drinking a bit in my room. I'm going to miss these people when we split up living arrangements next year. But at the same time I'm glad I'm living with a smaller group of people. There are positives and negatives to both and either way I'll probably end up complaining.

Sometimes shit don't change.

Mistake? Doesn't seem to be..

Sometimes I think I should avoid talking to certain people, especially certain people I used to have crushes on. I was worried that the following story would turn out to end badly for me, but it seems to have been pretty good...

I stopped into Food Lion on my way out of King William with two intentions in mind: 1) pick up some bread and wine, and 2) make sure he's doing ok.

He was getting off on break when I stepped into the store. He made eye contact with me and gave me a kind of shocked look. I just nodded my head to say 'hey' and then kept walking towards where I thought the bread was. Turns out it had moved and I wandered around aimlessly for a bit until I eventually found it. I picked up a loaf and then moved to the wine section where a good majority of the brands and bottles have been discontinued at the store. I still managed to find my favorite bottle and made my way to the register.

As I stood in line waiting for the woman in front of me to get her credit card to work I noticed him walk out to his car, look around for a second, get in, and then almost immediately get back out and start walking back up to the store. When I made it outside he was sitting by the door on an overturned shopping cart waiting for me.

He said he figured I would be back in Charlottesville already because I have classes in the morning. I explained how my parents had made me wait around to spend more time with them and how I was just able to break myself away a little after 7:15. We talked for a bit about how things had been going for him, how he is managing himself with everything that's been difficult lately, and then the topic moved on to other things.

I actually enjoyed talking to him. He was not nearly as whiny and depressed as he usually is and I would like to think that it's because he actually saw me in person. We talked about random things for a while and then he said he wants to come up to Charlottesville and stay for a while after he gets out of school next month.

I think that would be a good change for him.

Restarting classes and preparations for Departure

It's been about a week since my final exam and I am already getting ready for classes to start tomorrow morning. I've read through each syllabus and don't have any work to do for tomorrow's classes. But everything feels strange.

Maybe it's because I am moving out of this house in a week. I think that's actually a major part of it. I kind of wish my classes started in June so I would have time to focus on getting this shit-shack cleaned and everything. But because classes start tomorrow I am going to have to be dividing my time between them and cleaning and I am most likely not going to be a happy camper. At all.

After May 24 I will be living in a hotel for two weeks. I'm kind of excited about that. I mean, it's not the best hotel in the area, but it's still better than having to bum a sofa off someone for two weeks. This way I get my own private room and it is going to be so much more clean than this place ever was or ever will be. I will finally have my sanctuary back. Ever since I left my tiny dorm room last year and moved into this....place....I have had to suffer through flies, piles of trash, disgusting smells, frequent parties, terrible cable connection, insane neighbors, insane roommates, roommates who smoke way too much weed, roommates who leave bamboo sticks throughout the yard, roommates who don't give a shit about school, and roommates who get on my nerves for just being themselves.

I may also feel strange because it's after the year has let out, but it has not yet been long enough for that fact to set in my mind. I feel like I'm going to get up tomorrow and go to Polish class and be able to say "Dzień dobry Pani Małgorzata" one last time. But those classes are done as is that semester.

Once again

I'm sitting in my car at the laundromat this time because the skinny bench is taken up. I am drenched in sweat.

The mayflies are also terrible now. Whenever I try to walk around in my yard they are constantly smacking me in the face and buzzing all around me.

I'm sure I look so great right now. I really have sweat dripping down my face. I'm unshowered (which is probably better since I'm going to have to take one anyway when I get home). And I just don't do well in the heat.

There's a guy sitting in his car next to me. He just got off the phone after having a lengthy conversation in Spanish. He is currently listening to Tick-Tock by that girl that I don't like.

Movie premiers and interesting Connections

Today I went to my Polish professor's house where she had prepared a huge spread of Polish foods for our class, friends, and former students. Everything was great and I'm glad that she did this again. It makes me feel so cultural and like I have been able to return a part of my family's history to life.

During the meal we watched the premier of "Jak się masz, kochanie?" -- the video we had made as a class. The editor has done an amazing job with what she was given and it turned out better than I had thought it would be. Occasionally the voices are a little weak and it would have been nice if some people had spoken louder, but overall it was so much fun to watch. Luckily I didn't come off as creepy as I thought I would...or maybe I just don't see my creepy actions as being creepy, which could be bad. The editor also put in a blooper reel of "wpadki" at the end. That, I believe, is the best part of the film. They really show how much fun we had while making it and how much we (I'm in almost every single one) messed up during the production.

So after we had watched the film and finished eating I walked over towards the kitchen where I started talking with one of the students from class, as well as with the intermediate level Polish teacher. I started talking about where I was going to be teaching next fall and when I said Western Albemarle, the professor was like 'Hey, my daughter goes there." I asked what grade she was going to be in next year and he said tenth. I then asked if she planned on taking AP European history and he said yes....So, it looks like I am going to be teaching his daughter next year.

I guess the pressure is really on me now.

Finals

Everybody's done.

Don't know what day it is today.

I like ends like this.

The end of an Era

I'm kind of surprised at how blandly this semester ended. There was no freaking out, no vomiting blood, no super stress...nothing really. Maybe it was because I was only taking 12 credit hours or maybe it's because I actually did the work.

I had to go to my Polish professor's office today during our exam block in order to turn in my brief essay on myself and complete the oral part of the exam. I walked in and recited the poem that had been burned into my memory throughout the semester and, in Polish, proceeded to recount the events of this morning when I was a little hungover, how I tried to remedy the situation, and what I planned to do now that I was done for the semester.

I apparently did very well and my teacher went on to tell me that I "made that class," and not just for her, but for the other students as well. I was the one who always came in there with stories, random comments during the lesson, and my offbeat sense of humor that seemed to work well with the hodgepodge of people in my class. I can't wait to see the video now. My professor said that I was great in it and that "the hand kissing was amazing." I love pretending to be the stereotypical French pervert.

It's sad to think that I am done with taking Polish class, but I guess we all encounter sad truths during our lives. As the grades now begin to roll in I've been assured that I can get nothing less than an A in Polish. Too bad my good grades will have to stand next to that atrocious looking W.

Bored.....

I'm parked at my dad's shop sitting in my car using the internet waiting for anybody to want to do anything in this small-ass river town.

Nothing so far.

Releases

After I posted my previous blog I got in my car and drove down I-64 singing at the top of my lungs. I traveled 36 miles round-trip and in that time I managed to sing enough songs out of my range that my throat ached by the time I pulled into my driveway.

We all need our releases...things that help us cope, get by, or celebrate. Singing in the car happens to be one of mine.

I just know next time that I should probably not sing "Poker Face" so loud that it makes my throat feel like it's going to explode.

Wrapping up the Semester

I just finished a shit-ton of work.

My seminar paper is done and submitted over a day and a half before it's due.

My lesson plans and school visit log are submitted on time.

I had already finished another project a week early and submitted that last Wednesday.

I also have taken all of the various research surveys I had to endure for the semester.

I only have one exam to go--Polish on Monday, May 10.

I can do this.

Talking it Out

I reverted to talking to that person that I shouldn't...the person I refer to as The Bane of My Existence. Ever since last June things between us have been complicated. No longer in the 'relationship' aspect of complicated now but in more of a 'we don't know how to act around one another' kind of way. I've essentially become the person he talks to when I can force it out of him--the banality of the words we exchange masking the greater importance of what I'm trying to do. Help.

Issues with one's self are never easy to resolve, especially at times of other changes in one's life. These personal issues, however, become more difficult when one's family history, beliefs, or other situations challenge what should be the socially accepted rights of life.

So I'm just listening. Listening and offering random advice.

The heat is Back

Once again it's in the mid to upper 80s here. I guess it's acceptable since it's May now, but it is just so hot upstairs in my house. Right now I'm drenched in sweat and will probably end up taking another shower before I go to bed. I keep telling myself I only have three weeks left and then I'm out of this place.

I know for a fact that my apartment is air conditioned next year. I'm excited.

Overpowering

It smells like gasoline outside my house and all down my street. Not a subtle smell of gasoline either. It reeks.

A friend and I walked down the road a bit to see if we could find where the smell was originating, but the smell became overpowering and my head began to hurt so I went back and so did he.

I don't know what is causing this, but I do know that I cannot go outside for a while.

Gonna kill me some Facebook

Facebook recently outdid itself on renovations. I could deal with the other changes..you know, the ones where the basic look of the site was changed, but with this one, they have gone to catering so much to the Twitter crowd and people who are obsessed with liking 400 different pages.

The sections of the profile that contained my likes, interests, activities, music, movies, television shows, etc. were insisting on being linked to different kinds of pages throughout the Internet because I guess we're all too lazy now to Google them for ourselves. I didn't know what this actual transition was so when the page telling me to "Like" all of these pages for them to appear in my profile popped up, I was like "No, thank you. I don't want to have my name attached to the actual pages on here." But in doing that I erased all of the information from my page.

Fuck this shit.

I honestly am pissed about this. I had constantly been updating my information and everything in order to keep it with my current likes, dislikes, and whatever. But because of the way I had typed in certain things (using brackets to emphasize things I liked more) Facebook could not recognize them as real things and therefore deleted them from my page. So, my most favorite things were erased and the marginal things were left as my main likes.

Rather than fight with Facebook again over this, I just deleted everything from those sections. If they decide to change something I will put them back, but not now. No. I don't feel like being someone on Twitter.

Because I don't like Twitter.

And speaking of that fucking bull shit piece of fucking shit website, the fucking Library of Congress is going to be archiving the fucking tweets from now on. So two hundred years from now people will be able to go back and see things like "RT @cocksucker102 lolz i hav 2 go 2 da stor now. l8r im getin sum tim wit da gurl"

Very promising for our society.

Elections

I just spent a good deal of time reading up on the Austrian presidential election. The top vote-getter was a candidate for the Independents -- a feat I never see being accomplished here with the massive party machines we have organized over the centuries. Of the next two candidates, one was a far right political group, and the other was a far right Christian group. It made me kind of glad, I guess, that these two groups only amounted to around 20 percent of the vote when combined and that people would rather vote for someone of no political affiliation than one of these groups filled with hate and malice (at least according to their platforms). Maybe there is still hope...at least in Europe.

I then switched into looking back at our own 2008 election. The New York Times has a great page where you can see county votes, changes in voter ideology, etc....and it's all shaded in either blue or red.

It was very nice to see so much blue that last time.

Continuity

One of the usual major difficulties of filming a no-budget, extremely amateur production is having issues with your actors. The actors either 1) have not studied their lines sufficiently or 2) are terrible.

The most difficult problem we encountered while filming, however, was keeping continuity between takes. People would be in slightly different positions, holding their bodies in different ways, or holding objects in different ways. I found myself about to switch hands while carrying a piece of luggage.

Either way, this film is going to be hilariously bad. And I'm excited for it.

Lazy Sunday

It's sunny days like this after a large rain storm that make me want to actually do something outside. But at the same time, the ground is wet so I'm probably just going to stay in and do nothing. I rather like being done with all pertinent work so i can just sit around and watch a movie with a glass of wine.

This is my kind of day-- A lazy Sunday.

Beginning to see the Light

At 1 p.m. today I will be submitting my portion of the final project for EDIS 560, my social studies methods class. The final project is not due until May 5, but we want to get it out of the way.

In the end, I threw together two unit tests for our project in about two hours. This was the culmination of weeks and weeks of work on the parts of the three members of my group. I guess it's a good thing we are finished now because it means we won't be struggling to finish at the end like many others in the class are inevitably going to be.

It also helped me notice what else I have to do before I finish the semester...and it's not much. I have one more lesson plan to make, one more journal to submit, a final for Polish, 2 more online surveys to partake in, and final revisions on my seminar paper. That's it.

I've almost made it through everything for the semester, the semester that I figure (besides student teaching which is completely different than actual college) will be my most difficult. There was a casualty along the way in that I had to drop a history class that would have been the last one for my major.

If I had been able to finish that class this semester and take another graduate education class in any of the other semesters I was here I would be essentially finished after next semester-- 3 and a half years to finish a five year program. Unfortunately I was not able to do those other things so I will be here for four years.

Four years to get a masters degree is not too bad though.....I guess I'm just disappointed because if I had tried harder I would be done next fall. But it's the "trying" part where I tended to mess up.

And I'm fine with having to stay here for one more semester....I think..

Sleep

Sleep is a strange thing. I had realized this for some time but it only fully hit me last night when I went to visit Matt at a sleep study where he works sometimes. He had taped over the names so I couldn't see them whenever I looked at the computer monitor where he was keeping track of so many different kinds of things: eye movements, leg movements, EKG, multiple types of brain waves, breathing, etc.

Matt explained what everything was and what the different kinds of lines meant and I could see the patterns of sleep emerging in the first patient by around 11 p.m. The second patient, on the other hand, was still awake by the time I left at 2 a.m. Patient 1 was complaining about sleep apnea and Patient 2 said he had insomnia, a fact he essentially proved to us in the time I was there as he laid awake in bed with the lights off for about an hour and a half before turning the light back on and reading.

I thought it was interesting to actually be able to trace things such as the onset of sleep (something that has always eluded my own half-assed investigations), how your breathing changes, how your heart rate slows and stabilizes, so many things like that.

It was fascinating. As was the company.

Mega Fail

One of my friends had suggested that I change the name of this blog. I said that I was fine with the title I gave it in class almost two years ago.

Upon noticing how much I suck at posting regularly, I thought about changing it to Fail Blog. I thought it was a pretty creative, but oddly familiar name. Later I remembered that Fail Blog was on my mind because I was browsing it last night.

I guess the new name still has to be thought up.

Lying

It's not that I had initially intended for my placement at CHS to be going so badly. I actually went as soon as I got the placement notification last semester. Then I noticed how bad the actual school is and, at about the same time, my desire to be a teacher waned considerably.

One of the last requirements I have to fulfill by the end of this semester is to simply be observed teaching by my Curry graduate assistant. Originally I was supposed to get this done a while ago, but it kept being pushed back until we settled on Thursday, April 15....the same day the rough draft of my seminar paper was due. I moved it again to Monday, April 19, today, but my lesson plan was so shitty that I was really nervous about going in there and teaching it.

This morning my nerves got the best of me and made me vomit. I used this as an excuse to get out of teaching today, find out where the teacher actually is and re-plan my lesson for Wednesday.

Put together, all of this made me realize how good I am at lying. I always tell people that I am a bad liar in order to establish myself as that...with this, I believe, when I do lie, they'll think it's the truth because I am soo bad at lying. I don't know if that's a good thing or not, I guess it depends on how I use it. I could assume that the way I am able to put myself out there and fake my way through things (much as how I have done through college) could help me fake my way through things in the future. Sure, it would be easier, but I kind of want to have the experiences of actually doing the work sometimes.

I guess I'll find out how good I am at lying through massive compositions when I get my rough draft back on Thursday. It could be the end of this path for me.

It's Official

We are officially together now.

I'm very happy.

That is all.

Storyboarding

Every year my Polish teacher (i.e., teacher of Polish) makes a video with her class. This year we decided to do a soap opera based on the story in our podręcznik (textbook). I play the lead male, Michel, a guy from France who decides to learn Polish and study in Kraków in order to help trace his family heritage. I'm also a ladies man -- a role quite different than the one I'm used to playing.

For this weekend's homework we were paired up and given at least 1 scene to storyboard, write dialogue for, etc. One of the scenes my pair was given was the awkward dinner between Agnieszka, the girl who likes me, and Robert, her essentially cuckolded boyfriend. And, boy, do I know how to write about awkward dinners, having had quite a few myself. Agnieszka is supposed to receive a text from Michel during dinner asking her to come over later, she lies about it, and then runs to Michel's place. This will, no doubt, be one of the better scenes in the production.

I'm just wondering who's going to end up playing Agnieszka because I think there's supposed to be a scene where we kiss and I don't want to make that awkward.