Currently

As I'm sitting in my car in New Kent jamming to some Korean pop I have a bit of time to think about some things. I don't know if they're things I should be thinking about but at this point it doesn't really matter.

I'm relatively happy right now. I haven't had a breakdown in a few weeks and I'm hoping to continue the streak. I've canceled my appointment with the psychologist because I feel that I have things under control for the time being. That's all subject to change and I have a feeling that it will in about two weeks once I start my semester at AHS. But we will see. As for now though, I'm content with where I am. I don't feel like I have anything hanging over my head, I don't have any unnecessary concerns dragging me down, I'm holding myself well.

I know I'm probably depressed, possibly manically..and that's why at times I feel great and energetic and really happy, and others I have crushing feelings of, well, depression. I know online surveys aren't usually a great place to go to look for signs of this, but the school-sponsored one said that I needed to call 911 a few weeks ago amidst my last breakdown. I didn't know what I was supposed to tell them on the phone so I never did. And besides that, I didn't want the embarrassment of having EMTs or firefighters come to my apartment to talk me down. Nah, that's not what I wanted at all.

I can't say what it is that I want when I get that way. I guess I just want a different feeling than what I'm having at the time.

Regardless, I'm doing well now. I'm in a healthy relationship that I'm having fun in, I have great friends who like me, I have a kick-ass apartment (except for my upstairs neighbor who I'm going to have to have a talk with), and I have good prospects for my future.

So, for now, I am just going to kick back and enjoy the rest of my summer and the amazing voices of this K-pop group. It's going to be a good night.