And..

Oh, and blah blah blah blah blah blah Steve Jobs blah blah blah blah. Why not just make him our new god already...I don't understand why people are acting like this when there are thousands of people dying while fighting for freedom (since we Americans tout that as SOOOOOOO important to fight for our freedom) in other countries that we turn a blind eye to. Why aren't we saying anything about Fred Shuttlesworth, a Civil Rights activist who worked with Martin Luther King, Jr., to end segregation and advance the rights of an oppressed people in our country? He died the same day as Jobs, but you'll find little mention of it. It's truly sad that we would ignore somebody like that to apotheosize someone who "told us what we needed before we knew" as a headline that I just saw read.

It's really sickening.

Jealousy

After a brief snafu about the resumption of me teaching middle school classes tonight instead of tomorrow and me teaching only an hour out of the two because I was late, I had plenty of time on my angry walk to think about things. I had fully planned out my angry speech which would be delivered eloquently the next day, and, as it was Friday, I'd have a full weekend before having to see these people again. But I decided against it as it's probably not the best thing to do. I'll just have a talk with them instead.

But I also started thinking about other things...like how jealous I am of couples, and how I'm jealous of the way they can walk around holding hands and acting like everything is perfect in the world. Because I want that. I want someone to share the pains of the world with me and tell me that things will be alright. To comfort me, to be with me, to WANT to be with me, to tell me the things I want to hear, and the things I need to hear. Someone who can put up with my cynicism and snarkiness and still want to talk to me later. Someone who will let me complain about keeping the house clean only to let me mess it up myself during an alcohol-fueled binge. Someone who can help subside my rage at politics and people and bigots and racists and homophobes and everybody in-between and at the fringes.

I had something good for a while and I fucked it up. It wasn't all me, but a lot of it was me. And......and I think it's ridiculous that I can try to blame myself for something like that. This is why I need that other person with me. To tell me that not everything is my fault, because if it were up to me, everything would be my fault because it's the only way that some things will ever be apologized for.

It's October

Congratulations to Matt and Anna upon their wedding. I'm so happy for them and I wish them the best of times together. :)

Now, after that lovely introduction to this post, I have to say that being sick sucks. Oh my god. I haven't left my apartment in days now and I have a fan blowing out of an open window to hopefully take some of the funk out of my room. I finally got around to showering today and washed the clothes that I had not taken off for the past 2 days. God I'm gross.

On a good note though, I'm finally feeling better today and was able to, besides take a shower and do laundry, get all of my grading done. This means that tonight I can lay back and stream some shows onto my laptop. Speaking of shows, I've read that Arrested Development is going to return to TV and then will have a movie to finish it off. I'm super excited and I hope the ratings for the show are through the roof when it does come back on. As someone who was a loyal viewer from episode one of the original run, I've worked hard to spread my love of the show around. I think I've done well.

Ha, I was thinking about making spaghetti tonight for dinner, but I remembered that that means I have to strain the sauce as I accidentally bought a jar that had olives in it. Curse you olives. You make making dinner difficult. And I hate you and everybody who puts you on pizzas just to make sure that I don't steal any of it. You and green peppers can just go and die and never come back.

I'll still probably make spaghetti for dinner tonight.