Finished...

Well, around 10:30 p.m. today I finished my time at the University of Virginia. It's a bittersweet moment. I feel like I won't see many of the wonderful friends I made here after graduation. I also have this strange feeling of being cut loose with no direction. I guess that lends itself to the joblessness I'm still suffering. Either way, my prospects should be good. And now I'll have much more time to focus on getting applications in to people and talking to prospective employers.

It's also a very anti-climactic moment. I was hoping that I'd feel a great deal of relief, but really, all I feel is this...unknown future. I was writing a Korean history essay on Confucianism and filial piety in Early Goryeo society and after I wrote the sentence I almost had to force myself to think that I'm done. For some reason I either can't accept it yet..or I don't want to accept it. Maybe after I wake up tomorrow with nothing to do it'll feel more real, but until then I'm just kind of floating here.

My friends and I are talking about what we're going to do now that we're done. We have two weeks until graduation and we'll all be done with school by this coming Friday. I think I'm going to go home for a bit, get orders from my mom about what to do with my free time, GET SOME LAUNDRY DONE, and then just hang out with my friends for the last bit of time that we'll have together for a long time, if ever.

I don't mean to be a downer about this. I'm pretty excited. My future looks bright. I just can't help feeling that all of this was a dream. That my anti-climactic notions of being done are stemming from the fact that my brain has created the last three years of my life as a fantasy while I'm actually in a coma in a hospital or something.

If it is a dream and I wake up sometime in the future, at least I'll know what kinds of people I want as friends. The kind of people who have supported me through everything these past three years. The kind of people who deal with my annoyingness, my bitchiness, my constant complaining about messes, my obscene liberalness, and all of the other things that make me who I am.

Regardless of all of that though, for now, I have some time left in my first-celebrated Cinco de Ocho.